Ghost of my past

/ maybe you were all faster than me / we gave each other up so easily / these silly little wounds will never mend / I feel so far from where I've been / So I go / And I will not be back here again / I'm gone as the day is fading / on white houses / I lied, wrote my injuries all in the dust / In my heart it's the five of us /
~White Houses, Vanessa Carlton

Where have I BEEN all these years?

I built my own little sandcastle on the shore of the ocean of life, and then, WHAM.
A tsunami comes and tears it all down.

Years ago, I started burrowing, believing that if I got down deep enough, I'd be able to escape cruel reality.
But the cold, abrasive waters of life still come crashing through,
and now I can't breathe.

Once underwater, I start to remember.

does the air still taste like crisp leaves and dumplings?
is that Little Mermaid doll still sitting on your desk?
have you tossed that ball around lately?
are you still looking for that stamp I stole?
would you still understand?

I start to choke on the memories, burning in my throat.

It's sad how strangers become friends, then yet again become strangers, all going our separate ways in life. Maybe in the haystack of life our pieces of straw may only brush once.
All that's left are imprints; sweet, sweet imprints.

It's like the feeling when you've finished the last m&m in the bag:

Empty.