Choking on thoughts & words

note: this is a weird entry... I usually save these kinda entries for writing on paper. Where nobody else will see it. But you know what, WHAT THE HELL.

In my world, I would bring band-aids to school and all these hearts would be healed.

They tend to sneak up on you.
Like spiderwebs - you don't realize they're right in front of your face until you're caught.
I feel like that bug, helplessly lost, the more you struggle, the tighter it gets... until you can't breathe.
Or more like I'm off on the side, watching the bugs get caught, one by one.

Anddd I want to help, but there's simply nothing I can do.
They're like.. a pyramid of glass hearts balancing on the tip of a needle.

All that it ends in is.. glass shards. Which are incredibly sharp, and end in even more pain. Pain for you, pain for me, pain pain pain pain PAIN.
But in that lawn there are two flowers, that are soooo incredibly colorful and happy. Is it worth the yellow, drooping witheredness of the rest of the lawn? I guess that's part of taking risks.
We put our hearts on the line, and sometimes they get torn to pieces.
I guess that's just life.

To end on a positive note... tomorrow's Friday... that should be a wonderful escape for us all.
But then again we'll all have to come back on Monday and face the cruel reality.

Ohwait, that isn't positive.

I fail.
Sighhhh
I hate standing on the sidelines. I'd rather play.
But when you play, and only make it worse, what can I do then?

I don't know. It's late.
My brain is dead.

I think I'll nap it off. Things always seem better in the morning.
Even though deep inside I know I'm just running from my problems, again...

I can go from low to high and back to low so fast.
It was less than an hour ago I had that happy feeling warm in my chest... and now I've been plunged back into ice-water.

When you change temperatures suddenly, you end up sick.
And that's what I am. SICK.
/I'm so sick, infected / with where I live / let me live without this / empty bliss / selfishness / I'm so sick... /
I need a break.

I wish life was like one of those microwavable foods - just add water.
But those foods are bad quality, they're dull and tasteless and not to mention unhealthy.

I don't really know why all my thoughts are kinda rolling through my body to my fingertips and onto the keyboard...

God I can't stop! It's like that feeling when you know you've lost but you don't want to admit it.
I don't want to admit life sucks.
There's happy times waiting, right?
I'd like to hope so.

And while I sit here rambling on and on about my life and how it sucks, there are people out there who have it way worse. That's how greedy I am.

:\
Just let the tears fall already.............