ode to P O P S I C L E S

{{ Katrina and I were talking about popsicles, it was originally her idea to blog about them :] ... }}

The popsicle juice dribbles down my chin, and almost instinctively I catch it with my tongue. Flavor dances on my tastebuds as I muse about the riddle on the popsicle stick, cradled for a moment in a peaceful popsicle-repose.

All of a sudden, the memories race each other back.

Whoosh. I'm five, it's Brookline. I'm rollerblading with Ruby when the familiar music-box melody of the ice cream truck crescendoes as it nears. Frantically we stumble towards our houses, ready to grovel at the feet of our parents and babysitters for a bit of change. Popsicle, popsicle...

Whoosh. I'm nine, it's Newton. I'm on the swings with Sylvie when the familiar music-box melody of the ice cream truck ricochets off the brick walls of our school. We jump off the swings and sprint to the truck, counting pennies and dimes in our pockets. Popsicle, popsicle...

Whoosh. I'm fourteen, it's California. I was posing for a Darfur rally picture with Katrina yesterday when the familiar music-box melody of the ice cream truck stirred dusty memories. Popsicle, popsicle... One glance at each other and we remembered what to do. Without hesitation we handed the crinkled dollar over to Mr. Ice Cream Man, and something childishly excited inside me awoke.

I realized that my childhood has been characterized by popsicles. Popsicles in times of joy, in anger, and in sadness. What is a better comfort these days than a little frozen block of sugar - a simple reminder of simple, happy times? Times of less pressure, of less drama, clear of the intricate, mind-crushing webs of thought that constantly cling to our consciences.

It's pleasantly simple.
The thought floods the mind and echoes its happy mantra:
popsicle... popsicle... popsicle...

Kiss from a Cherry Popsicle by Adorkable-3


...popsicle!

that s i n k i n g feeling

/ I walk barefoot where the water drowns the sand / with you no longer here to hold my hand / I let go / The ocean makes my swelling heart feel small / With the sounds it makes you won't hear it if iI call / I let go / There's a breeze in the air / There's a boat anchored out here / There's a calm under the waves as I choose to sink /

There are days when, other than a minimal amount of homework, I have literally nothing to do.
You might be thinking, oh that's nice...?
No. I sit there and rot. I feel like my life is wasting away.

These days, everyone important, or destined for an important place, seems to be busy all the time. When they're not under extreme academic stress from constant studying and AP classes, they're consumed in extensive extra-curriculars that take up hours every single day. They go off to Ivies, to Stanford, to UCLA.

Where am I in all this?

As the 'successful' people rise in life, I'm that hobo on the side of the street, caught between the parallel webs of helplessness and self-pity. I have to get out of my cardboard box more; I can't sleep on newspapers forever.

That's probably a bit of an exaggeration, but I still do feel like I'm not doing enough.
I want to do things, go places.
At the rate I'm going, the chances are unsettlingly slim.

In reality, those rising people probably work 10 times harder than I do. On the surface they appear to instantly succeed, like it's in their nature. But when they go home, what do they do? Study study study. Then again, maybe I'm just trying to comfort myself.

I guess success is something we have to slowly build up, through good habits, perseverance, blood and sweat, like a plant needs to be watered.

AMEERA90: Plant of Success

/ m u s i c /

/ I wanna take you away / let's escape into the music / dj let it play /

Spoken language is between mouth and ear
Written language is between hand and eye
Music is between heart and heart

Because of the universality of music, a Chilean can express himself to a Vietnamese with ease.

syllables become legatos, staccatos, and marcatos
words become a, b, c, do, re, mi
paragraphs become movements
short stories, autobiographies, and novels become marches, suites, and concertos
rising and falling actions become accelerandos and ritardandos
a car chase may become vivace, subito, and fortissimo
a sunset may become dolce, tenuto, and piano

Music is.. by x-chan (on deviantart)

MUSIC IS WHAT FEELINGS SOUND LIKE

spring is in the air

It feels like the sand is shifting beneath me.
And for once not because I'm sinking, but because I'm digging the hole.

I'm making a conscious effort to change for the better.

And even though it is ultimately for the good, it DOES feel like I'm being swallowed by mountains of choking sand. But, no pain no gain, right? (And Lucas don't reply saying no pain no pain.)

One thing that kind of gives me hope is that --
it's SPRING!

I'm sowing the seeds and for now the buds are small and insignificant...
But perservere through the wind and the rain and they'll be blossoms!

:D

Choking on thoughts & words

note: this is a weird entry... I usually save these kinda entries for writing on paper. Where nobody else will see it. But you know what, WHAT THE HELL.

In my world, I would bring band-aids to school and all these hearts would be healed.

They tend to sneak up on you.
Like spiderwebs - you don't realize they're right in front of your face until you're caught.
I feel like that bug, helplessly lost, the more you struggle, the tighter it gets... until you can't breathe.
Or more like I'm off on the side, watching the bugs get caught, one by one.

Anddd I want to help, but there's simply nothing I can do.
They're like.. a pyramid of glass hearts balancing on the tip of a needle.

All that it ends in is.. glass shards. Which are incredibly sharp, and end in even more pain. Pain for you, pain for me, pain pain pain pain PAIN.
But in that lawn there are two flowers, that are soooo incredibly colorful and happy. Is it worth the yellow, drooping witheredness of the rest of the lawn? I guess that's part of taking risks.
We put our hearts on the line, and sometimes they get torn to pieces.
I guess that's just life.

To end on a positive note... tomorrow's Friday... that should be a wonderful escape for us all.
But then again we'll all have to come back on Monday and face the cruel reality.

Ohwait, that isn't positive.

I fail.
Sighhhh
I hate standing on the sidelines. I'd rather play.
But when you play, and only make it worse, what can I do then?

I don't know. It's late.
My brain is dead.

I think I'll nap it off. Things always seem better in the morning.
Even though deep inside I know I'm just running from my problems, again...

I can go from low to high and back to low so fast.
It was less than an hour ago I had that happy feeling warm in my chest... and now I've been plunged back into ice-water.

When you change temperatures suddenly, you end up sick.
And that's what I am. SICK.
/I'm so sick, infected / with where I live / let me live without this / empty bliss / selfishness / I'm so sick... /
I need a break.

I wish life was like one of those microwavable foods - just add water.
But those foods are bad quality, they're dull and tasteless and not to mention unhealthy.

I don't really know why all my thoughts are kinda rolling through my body to my fingertips and onto the keyboard...

God I can't stop! It's like that feeling when you know you've lost but you don't want to admit it.
I don't want to admit life sucks.
There's happy times waiting, right?
I'd like to hope so.

And while I sit here rambling on and on about my life and how it sucks, there are people out there who have it way worse. That's how greedy I am.

:\
Just let the tears fall already.............

human C H E M I S T R Y

[begin nerd]

Life is like chemistry.

Life is about organisms and the interactions between them.

Chemistry is about matter and the interactions between them.

In both, there are many types of bonds. The ones that are strongest and hold the longest are between people who have many things in common (covalent bonds), or between complete opposites (ionic bonds).

The stronger the bond, the more violent it is when these bonds are broken.

We wander through life with the sole purpose of forming bonds, to fill our electron shells. Only when our electron shells are completely full will we ever by satisfied.

When a group of atoms form a perfect molecule and one is taken out, the remaining molecules will do whatever they can to find a replica to replace it.

Due to the Law of Conservation of Energy, souls are never created nor destroyed but simply reincarnated into another form of life.

Some people appear to be diatomic, in that they can never be without a partner.

And some people appear to be noble gases, in that they never bond with anyone.

Right now I feel like I'm in a particle accelerator... all these bonds are happening so quickly -some bonds are ripped apart and new ones form... where is the off button??

[/end nerd]

Weird, huh?

I actually thought of this a few weeks ago (while studying for a chemistry exam)(who would have thought?), but I've never put it onto paper. Or in this case, into... pixels..? Idk. 

Anyways, life has been a roller-coaster of wonder and stress, and I rarely get a chance to catch my breath before I'm hurled into another loop, around another sharp turn, and thrust upside-down, screaming.

This is a nice break. :]

Oh and for the record, there was a cloud that looked like Bowser today. xD