that s i n k i n g feeling

/ I walk barefoot where the water drowns the sand / with you no longer here to hold my hand / I let go / The ocean makes my swelling heart feel small / With the sounds it makes you won't hear it if iI call / I let go / There's a breeze in the air / There's a boat anchored out here / There's a calm under the waves as I choose to sink /

There are days when, other than a minimal amount of homework, I have literally nothing to do.
You might be thinking, oh that's nice...?
No. I sit there and rot. I feel like my life is wasting away.

These days, everyone important, or destined for an important place, seems to be busy all the time. When they're not under extreme academic stress from constant studying and AP classes, they're consumed in extensive extra-curriculars that take up hours every single day. They go off to Ivies, to Stanford, to UCLA.

Where am I in all this?

As the 'successful' people rise in life, I'm that hobo on the side of the street, caught between the parallel webs of helplessness and self-pity. I have to get out of my cardboard box more; I can't sleep on newspapers forever.

That's probably a bit of an exaggeration, but I still do feel like I'm not doing enough.
I want to do things, go places.
At the rate I'm going, the chances are unsettlingly slim.

In reality, those rising people probably work 10 times harder than I do. On the surface they appear to instantly succeed, like it's in their nature. But when they go home, what do they do? Study study study. Then again, maybe I'm just trying to comfort myself.

I guess success is something we have to slowly build up, through good habits, perseverance, blood and sweat, like a plant needs to be watered.

AMEERA90: Plant of Success