heartstrings

When's the last time I had a complete, defenseless heart-to-heart conversation with somebody? It's been a while. But today, that shell has opened again - if only briefly. But who thought it'd be with a stranger?

All this meaningless mumbo-jumbo (stealing your word Char haha) that we go through our daily routines: "oh, the funniest thing happened today", "oh, I love that flavor!", "buy holidaygrams or else!"... they come out of our mouths and stop at the ear. Are hearts are starving for connection. Connection is key in human existence - it's the factor that determines the nature of our consciousness (ex: happy, sad) but my daily life is so devoid of it. We need this vital feeling of being anchored to this Earth, so we don't go flying off into some dream world, or vegetative state. I'm drifting. I'm drifting.

Strangers. They're like the prize at the bottom of the cereal box. Open it up, dig a little bit, and see what you find. Today I found gold. The conversation was a wake-up call - I also discovered how much my life direction has shifted in the past few years, or even months. We can talk about the past, our families, christmas lights, without being embarrassed. That takes a certain maturity. The future beyond school - once considered so far off it is irrelevant to the present... is tangible. Thick and hanging in the air.

The last part, and most important part, was mutual vulnerability. We were unafraid to put ourselves out there, to take a risk and trust that in the end we'd be at least a little bit enlightened by each other. To express ourselves.

I was talking to Jeri on Friday and she said that she learned more from experiences with real people than textbooks. A five minute encounter has given me so much, I see what you mean now.